a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
