dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
