GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
