That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
