I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
