I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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