Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
