can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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