i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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