Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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