haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
