Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
