we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
