I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
