I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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