i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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