chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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