On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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