So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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