I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
