I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
