I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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