Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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