Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
