if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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