I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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