the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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