Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
