Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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