Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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