Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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