I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
