i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
