ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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