Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
