miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
