I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
