I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
