I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
