Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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