This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
