there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
