6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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