"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Your cock deserves a montage
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
