im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
