but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The beer is more important than you right now.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
