i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
