Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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