please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
