I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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