So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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