We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
